PROLOGUE
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13 years ago the OLD GODS came back to this world, 5,000 years after its birth, to much fanfare and to much dismay.
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But this story isn't about the Old Gods. And this story isn't about THE CONSTRUCTION, either, nor a new form of it.
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No, this is a story about a boy, his friends, and a game they play together.
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SOVEREIGNSTUCK
ACT 1, CHAPTER 1
Your name is RETRIS MORAGE, and you are tired.
It's been a long and treacherous 18 MOVES since your OPENING, and 18 minutes since you've woken up from an incredibly long nap that you didn't mean to take. Whoops.
RETRIS: Get up.
The sunlight pours through your windows, unfettered. You take a moment to survey your various possessions as your brain wakes up.
The gears of your mind groaned to life as you remembered yourself.
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You, like everyone, have a variety of HOBBIES and INTERESTS.
Among these are SWORDPLAY, WORDPLAY, and FOREPLAY. Don't think about the last one too hard. Don't think about that phrasing too hard, either. Get your mind out of the gutter.
You have an ardent passion for ASTROLOGY and the science of MYTHOLOGICAL ROLES. You run a rather sizeable CHUMBLR blog dedicated to the subject. You wish you didn't. You know in your heart that you are a MAGE OF LIGHT, and are looking forwards to getting this proven to you. Sooner rather than later, hopefully.
You're getting ahead of yourself, though.
RETRIS: Investigate poster.
You're not sure if you can consider your JOB a HOBBY, but you entertain the NARRATOR anyway.
You are an ACTOR, of the TRADITIONAL LIVE-ACTION BATTLEGROUNDS ROLEPLAY variety. It is a controversial, culturally Carapacian pastime.
Lights. Cameras. Action. Bloodshed.
Real people died in the making of these productions. Some by your hands.
RETRIS: Stare at your hands.
You take a moment to contemplate the amount of times you've washed gore off your carapace. Some were people you've loved. You think it's fine. They'd all agreed in advance that that's how they wanted to go.
You try not to think about it too hard, but it gnaws at you sometimes when the moon is hung high.
Some of them were so young. Just like you.
RETRIS: Get immediately distracted by the SHRINE behind you.
Oh fuck yes. Disregard all previous thoughts. It's EVANGELION time.
You’ve been a hardcore fan of the series NEON GENESIS EVANGELION since you were a child. It was a formative piece of media to you. It has informed many aspects of your being. You have a particular fixation on the relationship between Evangelion's IKARI SHINJI and NAGISA KAWORU. This is your shrine dedicated to the pairing.
KawoShin, it's called in fan spaces. Not that you've ever participated in those. Every Evangelion fan except for you and your BEST FRIEND is annoying. You'd like it if they got blown up with lasers. In fact, you feel quite the same way about-
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RETRIS: Investigate desk.
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There we go!
Ah, yes, good ol' VRISCORD. Everyone's using this handy little messaging app these days. Probably on account of it coming pre-downloaded on literally fucking everything. Your username on the platform is azimuthAnomaly -- don't tell the internet -- and English m4y not 6e your first l4ngu4ge, 6ut, you 4re trying your 6est.
It seems a couple of your FRIENDS have been messaging you while you were out.
RETRIS: Commit favoritism.
You check on your best friend first, as it should be. She comes before everything else in the world. Including yourself.
-- Chatlog between gregariousGhostwriter [GG] and azimuthAnomaly [AA] --
GG: Hey Ret-hIIssss.
GG: Hey Ret-hIIIIssssssss.
GG: Ret-hIIssss.
GG: Ret.
GG: Retty Ret. Lettuce boy!
GG: Hey. Ret-hIIssss.
GG: Are you actually ssleepIIng at a normal tIIme today?
GG: Hey bIIrthday boy!
GG: II ssent you pressentss, wake up!
GG: IIf you don't wake up then II'll ssend...
GG: Mysself.
GG: Your mom lussuss IIss gonna fIInd my ssevered head on the dessk, how are you gonna Xplain that?
GG: Sshe'ss gonna thIInk, "what did my son do this time?!", and have to clean all that up.
GG: You're gonna have to tell her your besst frIIend forever IIss dead forever becausse you sslept IIn too long.
GG: LOL. JK. xP
GG: Hm, waIIt.
GG: x|-<
GG: II'll work on that one.
GG: Do II need to sstart prayIIng?
GG: Gog and Mother Maryam IIn heaven, blessss thIIss poor ssoul sshould he dIIe of ssleepIIng sso hard he turnss IInto boness and sslIIme.
GG: Amen.
GG: Wake up we're IIn troll church!
GG: Troll Jeguss can ssee you ssleepIIng, he thIInk'ss IIt'ss real uncouth!
GG: II'll sstart ssendIIng thIIngss sso your mom getss mad at you!
GG: II'll put my transsportalIIzer IIn the ssIInk whIIle IIt'ss runnIIng!
GG: ThIIss IIss a joke, II won't do that. x(
GG: IIt'ss sso borIIIIIIIIIIng waIItIIng for you to wake up.
GG: II'll ssend a brIIck.
GG: II'll sstIIck IInsstructIIonss to IIt that ssay to throw IIt at your head.
AA: This is Retris's mother.... You pr4yed too l4te. He h4s 4lre4dy p4ssed on from this life. On his 6irthd4y. He is in 4theist Troll Hell now.
AA: R.I.P., son, you will 6e missed. Forever. 6ec4use he is just so de4d. ( TT _ TT)
GG: Ohhh, thIIss IIss sso tragIIc.
GG: ThIIss IIss me cryIIng. -> x'''(
GG: Can you do me one favor?
GG: Can you ssend hIIm a ouIIja that ssayss to check hIIss transsportalIIzer for me?
GG: PS: YOUR MOM CAN'T SSPEAK ENGLIISSH, NUMBNUTSS.
GG: At leasst not that well, anyway.
AA: I'm tot4lly getting his f4ther to help tr4nsl4te, don't worry 46out it.
GG: HIISS FATHER IISS HOME?! IIt'ss a bIIrthday mIIracle!
AA: I know, right?
AA: Ouij4 mess4ge sent, though. Give him 4 minute to complete this t4sk. He just woke up.
AA: You know, from the de4d.
GG: Wowee! Another bIIrthday mIIracle! Ret-hIIssss IIss the luckIIesst boy IIn the whole wIIde world! ALL the bIIrthday mIIracless IIn the world are happenIIng to him on thIIss day. He'ss even doIIng a Human ChrIIst-lIIke RessssurrectIIon!!
AA: Ye4h! Truly, the 6est-worst 6irth-de4thd4y ever. He died, 4ND woke up. From the de4d. 4ND his f4ther is even home for it!
AA: Jokes 4side, though, good morning, 4nd th4nk you!!!! (/\^ v^)♡
GG: HII hII hII hII hII hII hII Ret-HIIssss!
GG: DIId you get what II ssent you? DIId IIt come all IIn one pIIece?
AA: I 4m seeing 3 gifts from you. So, m4y6e?
AA: Unless, it duplic4ted.
AA: Triplic4ted?
GG: That'ss 'bout rIIght, yeah.
GG: IIf your transsportalIIzer could ssuddenly duplIIcate thIIngss that would be a REAL bIIrthday mIIracle though.
AA: M4y6e they’ll 4dd it one d4y.
AA: .... Upon giving th4t more th4n 1 second of thought, th4t would pro646ly 6e 64d for the economy, or something. Wh4tever.
AA: C4n I open them now?
GG: Nah you gotta waIIt tIIl nXt year, II got annoyIIng and keyed up for no reasson! xP
AA: Noooo.... I'll never know the secrets....
AA: Opening them now, though, 4nd you c4n't stop me. I'll 6rute force through your time locks if I h4ve to!!!! With my h4nds!!!!!!
GG: Aha! You fell for the trIIck! FIIVE MIILLIION XPLOSSIIONSS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!
AA: *6LOWS UP 6EC4USE OF YOUR TRICKERY.*
AA: 4nyw4ys, I'm doing it.
GG: YESS.
